confuce

On October 2010. I started going to a pub near my place in Tropicana selatan. The name of the pub is cock and bull. At first I tough it was a kinky kinda place but it turn out cool. But the main thing is for the pass 1 year. I meet this girl call Sabrina. She is cute, humble and very how am I going to say this.... but yeah she had blowed my mind away.
It was diwali 2010 when I first talk to her and I pass my number to her. I wrote in to a piece of Serviette. With a smile on it. She replied and passes me her number. After that we started to chat on the phone and text. We share our feeling and problems “kinda ".
But there is 1 mistake I did which made me lost contact with her. Which was I invited an ex scandal of mind which just arrived in kl for studies for a drink. But I was truthful. I did not say she was a friend. I told her the truth. I tried calling her texting but it was a wrong number .final after awhile I saw her. It is a school holiday and she was working for her dad. I got her number and I tried to patch things up again. But she still din trust me. I have a friend called angle which told me she thinks I am a player. But I dent blame her for that is because we rarely know each anther. We talk randomly till she told me her school is having an event in Tropicana and she will be there. I finish work at 5 but I waiting till she comes. We had a quick talk and I left!! I will never forget that beck my hands were shivering......
Then!!!! On deck 2011 I bought 5 booklets for Tropicana carnival and I pass 3 booklets for her and I ask her to come 2 weeks before the event. I tried calling her after that her phone was not on serves I was worried and scared I would never got to see her again. But on the 18th she found my number and she called me saying she will arrive at Tropicana in 5 mins. I was shock and happy at the same time. I left all my work and walk fast over to the main lobby to see her. She came with her friend and he is a very good man.
Next its x man's plans... i ask her weather she is going out or somthing and she said yess... to the curveee!!! We arrange and I picked her up from her place and we when.
Mistakes, I did! Again. There was this young guy whom I told him to eye on her while she was dancing on the dance floor ended up touching her and ####... I was not pissed but was just queries. I ask her and she said it’s normal. We are in a club. Yeah it made since. And that why I go beck I never liked the environment. Even if i doo its only 1 or twice in 3 months, but Sabrina. I am scared to open up to you. I am scared I can’t call you anymore. I am scared I will be a pain in the ass. What I have for you is from my heart. I know love is blind, but the heart doesn't lie .every moment I spent with you are like a beautiful dream come true. My favorite place to be in inside of you. Give me a chance to be there for you. It doesn’t feel right, when I look in your eyes. I’ll ask one more time, maybe this time you'll try. I just need you to open up and speak to me. I am always free!! If you need me! It’s sad that I dent have the chance to talk to you directly. Even if I do I will tear! I will let time fix everything. Sabrina you had heals my broken heart! ...
but deep inside me i knwo that you care and your trust me 1 i can see that i your eyes .

going to be a year since i left penang. i miss home alot. my friends,my car ,my house(room)and also my gurl which hates to see me. fuck man. how many more days do i have t be like this. single and never going to have some1 with me. it sucks to be alone. i love her till today even i know she is with some1 els. but its hard to clear things out . i dnt knw . even if she is with me i dnt knwo how to treat her.for ! small misstake i have done. hemm.but anyway i had learn to move on . and never give up hope> iwill do my best. hahah its fun being here. the gurl. my crazy ass friends frm tropicana chai everyday.soo its kinda fun here, but no life its kinda a fake doing thins kinda stuff>

wed 3.52 am 2011/01/25
hem i am bored and i cant slepp its been already 7 months plus since is left home. and finally i saw shari just a few days agoo .. lolls mis her a lot even i knw i am no 1 to her maybe a friend but a really new 1 .. 1 i more thing an ex problematic friend also..haaa.. i realy din wan to talk abt cass when i and shari when out but things just came out and i promise noting will come out the nex we meet. i deleted all my video's that i use to make before .. talking to my self and so on. hem i can only remember 1 thing. we had fun and thats all . ok fuck change the topic.. lolls
i wanted to be lost for a while and din want any1 to knw were i was and doing ! hope it stays the same. i have golf 2moro and i hav to wake up earl . dam tired but i cant slepp . had a good chat with harun 2day bat your biz and fucking got advise again my savings hem going to start lahh.. need some savings .. more i mean ..
no more expensive shopping and no more drinking every week.. noting.. since i was here i had been meeting lots of rich man , ministers, tan sir's and so on.. why ?? why ?? i should learn frm them as they do talk to me about their life and experience !!! when i start saving i can handle my biz well. and 1s my biz i well i can see the money.. lots of it.. lolls !!! hahaha shari i haven't been growing tall lahh.. i am just gaining a bit of weight !! protine shakes and gym workout !! hem just wanted to realiase some stress !!working here is fun but a lot of emotional problems.